Give your league a season to argue about
The table says who's winning. The Butler says who deserves it. One purchase unlocks the verdict, the awards and the pre-deadline predictions for everyone in your league. One payment, for the rest of the season.
- One purchase unlocks the whole league: everyone sees everything, no matter who pays
- One-time purchase: no subscription, no auto-renewal
- Try it first: every league gets 3 full trial rounds
Free
Full access for the first three rounds. After that: the numbers without the voice, meaning rule-based weekly stats and one shareable card per round, always free.
- Full table, live scores and weekly stats
- One shareable card per round
- A taste of the Butler's verdict
£3.99
One league, for the rest of the season
- The Butler's verdict every round
- All six weekly awards + the Super award
- Live commentary while the matches play
- Pre-deadline predictions, sealed and settled
- The Butler's full write-up after every round
- All share cards
- The season story: table journey and record board
- Trophy cabinet backfilled from round one
All prices are one-time purchases, not a subscription. No automatic renewal next season.
See what you're unlocking
The verdict after every gameweek
After every gameweek, the Butler passes his verdict on the league. He crowns the winner and the loser of the round, settles the score on his own predictions and hands out six unique awards. All with commentary written specifically about your league.
“Another week, another set of questionable decisions. Eriksen FC claimed the top spot with a captain masterclass on Salah, while The Joker's wildcard continues to look more like a cry for help than a strategy. Kansen United quietly climbed to second, the kind of competence that almost goes unnoticed in this circus.”
Eriksen FC
0points
The Joker
0points
Nilsen FK
0points on the bench
Kansen United
The standout decision of the gameweek.
The Joker
A mistake so spectacular it deserves recognition.
Cards on the table before kick-off
Once the deadline passes, the Butler opens the round with a full preview of your league: who your rivals are captaining, which transfers were made, which chips are in play and which fixtures matter most. He also seals his own predictions before kick-off, from the gameweek winner to the captain call and the bold differential, and his hit rate follows him all season.
Hit rate
Gameweek winner
Eriksen FC
Captain call
Kansen United
Sealed before kick-off
Follow the drama minute by minute
As the matches unfold, the Butler follows your league minute by minute and comments on everything that matters: goals, assists, red cards and changes at the top of your live table. Every remark arrives in his own dry voice, aimed squarely at whoever it concerns in your league.
2 – 173′
0 – 2FT
Goal: HaalandC
Haaland scores, wearing Eriksen FC's armband. The Butler permits himself a nod.
Eriksen FC · +8 pts
New season leader: Eriksen FC
Eriksen FC overtakes Nilsen FK at the top of the season table. The Butler amends the seating plan.
Eriksen FC
Haaland · 14p
8/11
played
Nilsen FK
M.Salah · 9p
9/11
played
The Joker
Isak · 6p
7/11
played
The whole season, summed up
The whole season, written up as it happens: the table journey round by round, the record board, and a trophy cabinet backfilled from round one.
“What a campaign. Eriksen FC displayed the kind of ruthless consistency that makes other managers question their life choices. The rest of you provided excellent entertainment, though not the kind you were hoping for.”
The Gold Shelf
The Shelf of Shame
Nilsen FK · GW 24
The Joker